Friday, October 19, 2007

MISSING MOM



Well tonight is the opening night of my first gallery show and I'm very excited and a bit nervous. Between the Outfest screening of Nine Lives that I hosted and moderated at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood on Tues and this gallery show, it's been a very BIG week for me. I've been trying to keep the emotions at bay, but last night it hit me how sad I am that my Mom won't be there beside me to share the experience. Anyone that knew my Mom will know how proud she would have been to see me have my moments to shine. She really understood and nourished my artistic side because she was an artist in her own right whether putting together a great meal from scratch, wrapping a gift, or writing her "soul scrolls" and UCC newsletter. In that sense and truly in every other way, I couldn't have asked for a better Mom. My Mom cast a huge shadow - with her being, her presence and her earthly and spiritual gifts. But it really wasn't until my Mom died that I began to see my artistic potential truly flourish. I was able to step beyond her shadow. Everyone participating in the show is trying to bring something to eat or drink and it popped into my head that I HAD to go to Bea's Bakery in Tarzana to get rugula as my contribution. I haven't been inside Bea's Bakery in YEARS, but buying a box of rugula there just felt like something my Mom would have done. It's my little way of having a touch of my Mom with me there at the show. The only difference between my Mom and me is that I bought 2 boxes (a little over 2 pounds) of rugula and other cookies at Bea's Bakery while my Mom would have brought a platter big enough to feed a small army and STILL have leftovers. :-)

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