CONFESSIONS OF A GAME SHOW CONTESTANT

My friend Lawrence talked me into trying out as a game show contestant on LINGO, hosted by Chuck Woolery on the Game Show Network. I'd never even seen the show before we tried out, but we made it through the casting and got onto the show. If you watch the episode it looks like we're having a ball but honestly the entire experience was miserable and stressful and we lost. We were at the studio for about six hours, the only food on hand was crap candy and chips that I avoided eating because I like to eat healthy and I didn't want a sugar crash not knowing when we'd actually be going on air. Once the taping began, the producers kept commanding me to talk louder (quite a shock since I feel like I usually have the most booming voice in any group) and directed me that I should actually shout across the stage as though the mics were very far from me. And at every break they kept telling me to amp up my enthusiasm and presence because I guess I wasn't being dramatic and exuberant enough for the LINGO audience watching at home. Then once we were done, we found out that our "parting gifts" were crummy LINGO t-shirts that were too big for either of us to wear! When we left the taping, I was starving and had a killer migraine from not eating for hours. And then to top it all off, the production company didn't even notify us when our episode aired!!! Luckily a friend of Lawrence's just caught the East Coast feed of the rerun and informed us in time so I could DVR it. The only cool part was Chuck Woolery was really nice and laid back. Screw LINGO, the only game show I really want to be on is the $25,000 Pyramid if only they'd just bring the show out of mothballs. But if they do, I hope they don't prop up Dick Clark to host! Here's a clip of us chatting with Chuck and trying to figure out one of the word puzzles.