Saturday, August 30, 2008


I've got another summer sinus infection. Every time I'm sick and laying in bed feeling miserable I start missing my Mom. No matter how old you get, the thought of Mom coming in to bring you food and company and TLC is comforting. So in lieu of the fried matzo my Mom will never be able to make for me anymore, I comforted myself by digging into old Hi8 videotapes and watching some home movies from a lifetime ago. In the 5 and a half years since my Mom's passing, I think this is only the third time I've needed to watch videos again just to see her and hear her voice. It's a dicey thing to bring out the videos - usually seeing my Mom makes me feel good - but you just don't know is it going to make you too upset as well. I pulled out tapes from 1991 and 1992 - tapes that had my Mom and my second Mom, my Aunt Lisa, too. I think this is the first time I've seen any of these images since around the time frame they were first shot. It felt so good to see my Mom laughing and being her vivacious self. In the case of my Aunt's video, I had recorded her 75th birthday at her apartment in West Hollywood - virtually my second home. I was only 22 when I shot the video but for some reason I had the presence of mind to actually do a walk through the apartment documenting the rooms and the little knickknacks and photos on different tables. How wonderful it was to see all the details again. At one point I even captured my Aunt and Dad talking to each other in German (a very rare occurrence). So Mom and Aunt Lisa, today I think of you both strongly and am so glad to be able to see you again.

I just came across this photo of my Mom a couple weeks ago when I was looking through old photos. I just love it. She looks so beautiful and radiant and I love her smile.

A photo of me and my Aunt in her apartment I think around 1989. The look on my face says it all - how much I love her and how safe and loved I feel when I'm with her.

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